


Optional Assignment

by noveltea



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-17
Updated: 2010-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-10 15:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noveltea/pseuds/noveltea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Lorne leaves for Atlantis, he has to say goodbye</p>
            </blockquote>





	Optional Assignment

  
Another weekend, another quiet evening at home.

Rachel couldn't have been happier. The final weeks leading up to the end of term could be described in one single word: pandemonium. She loved her kids dearly, but a class of 26 five and six year olds were a handful on any day of the week, and the only time they were worse than that was when they knew they had holidays coming up.

Despite the unexpectedness of coming home to find Evan cooking up another storm in the kitchen, it couldn't have been a more welcome surprise.

After threats of locking the cookbooks up and throwing away the key, and proclamations that it just wasn't _fair_ that he was such an excellent cook, they sat down to a meal that blew her away.

It was just his way. With a single look, a word, _anything_, he captivated her, and she knew she was in love. And the bastard knew it, too.

Stealing cleaning duties ("If you're going to cook for me, the least I can do is clean up," she told him when he protested), she cheated and used the dishwasher. "Why waste time?" she'd asked, and he'd merely grinned a wicked smile that she had to wipe off his face with a kiss.

Hours later, she'd changed into track pants and tank top and huddled into a corner on the couch, glass of wine sitting temptingly on the glass coffee table in front of her. They'd settled down to watch... Rachel wasn't sure exactly what they were watching. She'd tuned out the sounds and was staring at the moving images but not catching their significance.

She hid a yawn, exhausted after the long week. Beside her, Evan looked just as tired, if not more so, than she did. But she never asked him about it, and she wouldn't start tonight.

In a vain effort to stay awake, she prodded him, her bare foot poking his thigh.

He rolled his eyes and ignored her. She thought if he hadn't been so tired he might have laughed at her. At the very least, she'd earned an amused smile.

As uninteresting as it sounded to others, these were the moments she adored. Neither of them were overly cuddly people, and to sit on a couch with each other, perfectly comfortable, was something she'd never been able to do with anyone else. They'd had their reunion cuddles and kisses before dinner; he'd teased her while she changed (and she'd ignored the dark purple bruise she caught sight of when he changed his shirt). They were lost in their own thoughts, but comforted in the knowledge that the other was there.

Time ticked by slowly, and eventually she knew she'd have to drag herself - and probably him - to bed. She'd barely touched the wine, but soon all she could think about was the comfy sheets and soft pillows, and Evan's warm body wrapped around hers.

She hadn't expected him to speak, and his voice, low and thoughtful, snapped her back to something resembling alertness.

"You've never asked me exactly what I do."

One eyebrow raised, Rachel looked over at him, surprised. "That came out of nowhere." She shifted, sitting cross-legged on the couch, and looked over at him. "And besides, I did. When I first met you, remember?" He stared back blankly, before wincing at the exasperated look on her face. "What? It was a while ago."

She sighed. "I asked you what you did, and you told me you were in the Air Force and working as a consultant at Cheyenne Mountain."

"I did?"

"It's not like it's a big deal. I know plenty of military personnel who work in Cheyenne Mountain. It's like the draw card of the area," she told him, sinking back into the plush cushions. "And since no one in town who doesn't work in the mountain has no clue about what actually goes on in that mountain, obviously it's top secret, or some other horrible military/government cliche that would send the paranoid into fits of delusional excitement, I figure you can't tell me exactly what your job is." She leaned forward, keeping her eyes trained on his. "_That_ is why I've never asked. And why I don't want to know."

He looked at her curiously. "You can be very peculiar sometimes, do you know that?"

"I teach five year olds," she point out. "One tends to be a little peculiar in that job." She sank back into the corner of the couch and watched him; this time she was the curious party. "Does it bother you that I'm peculiar."

Evan smirked. "It's endearing."

"Just endearing?"

"Well, of course. What else could it possibly be?"

Returning his smirk with one of her own, Lorne watched as her hands played with the hem of her shirt; a sign he'd come to recognise as an indication of when she was debating revealing something about herself that he didn't know. It had taken him a while to pick up on it, originally thinking it was a nervous habit. He'd realised later on that she wasn't a nervous person, and probably never had been. Determined, confident and relaxed, that was who she was. Except when it came to her secrets.

"My mother was in the Navy," she told him quietly. It was an unexpected comment, and something that explained a lot about her. He didn't reply, knowing that now that she had said something, she would say something further, and he didn't want to interrupt that. "She was away for most of my childhood, so I guess I'm kind of used to that way of life already. And she couldn't always tell me where she was going, or how long she'd be away for. It was hard for me and my dad sometimes, but she loved her job, and we both loved her, so we found a way to balance that out. We got used to secrets, and made jokes about them."

She looked up, and rolled her eyes. "And it certainly doesn't help having a lawyer for a father. Secrets _were_ my childhood."

As if sensing his growing apprehension, Rachel crawled over to him on the couch. It was a short trip, and totally undignified in her opinion, but it was to get a point across. "It's not a big deal, Evan. Really."

He looked skeptical, and she couldn't really blame him. "I just don't like not being able to come home from work and talk about it with someone else. It never used to bother me, but now..."

Draping an arm across his shoulders, she wore the smile of a woman who had just conned something out of her partner. And in a way she had. "Now... what?"

One look at the expression on his face, and it was Evan's turn to roll his eyes, elbowing her gently in the side.

"Okay, okay, okay!"

Rachel settled against him, and Evan was surprised at how normal and relaxed it felt to hold her. When he looked over at the television, still on with the volume low, he realised that whatever show they had been watching earlier was finished and the end credits rolling. He ran his fingers through her hair absently; a familiar gesture.

They were silent for a few peaceful minutes, and at one point he thought she might have fallen asleep; he wasn't too far off from that conclusion to the evening himself. But the knowledge that eventually he would have to tell her what was going on kept him awake. It was the chance of his career, but now he was wondering whether it was worth as much as keeping this - whatever this turned out to be - alive for as long as he could manage.

Rachel's voice broke the silence, voice quiet and even and non-threatening. "What's going on, Evan?"

"Hm?" He looked down at her, her head resting on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

She sat up a little, enough to shake her head. "No. We've played that game already. What's on your mind?"

He rested his hand on her head, pulling her back down gently. "I have something to tell you, and I'm not sure how to do it."

"You can tell me anything," she told him.

He took a deep breath, and dived in. "I have to go away."

Curled up beside him, he felt her whole body stiffen and go still. It last only long enough for her to regain control of herself, but he still felt it, and it was too late for him to reconsider his approach.

"I don't know how long for, and I can't tell you where I'm going."

She pulled away, sitting up so she could look across at him, and not up, on an even playing field. "I guess that answers the two questions a normal person might have asked."

"But not you?"

"I'd have still asked them," she admitted. "I would have just expected the answer." She drew in a deep breath and looked away; away from Evan. "When?"

It was his turn to look away from her, and the regret in his voice when he spoke made her heart turn. "A week."

"A week?" Disentangling herself entirely from him, she let her feet find solid ground as her right hand found her mouth and covered it. She'd known it would come eventually, and she thought she could prepare herself for it. The curse of falling in love with a man in the military. "Will it, uh... Will it be dangerous?"

The moment the words left her mouth she regretted asking them. She didn't really want to know the answer, it wouldn't help her in any way, but she couldn't help it. _Don't let the 'military consultant' confuse you,_ she chided herself.

She willed herself to look at him.

"Probably." He looked so crestfallen she just wanted to pull him into a hug and hold him, but she appreciated the fact that it just wasn't the right time yet. Evan was one of the more honest men she knew when it came to emotions and talking about them, but he was still a guy, and their discussion wasn't over just yet.

Reaching over and grabbing one his hands, holding it tight, she pulled on her resolution face; the one he so often called her 'convincing small children and small animals' face - half-convincing and half-pleading.

"Okay. So, no big deal. This was going to happen sooner or later, right? I mean, it's a little sooner than I would have liked, but isn't that always the case?"

He nodded once, gripping her hand and not even realising it. "No big deal," he repeated. Hell, it was a huge deal. The Atlantis mission had been at the top of his list of things to do the previous year when they originally called for volunteers; Evan had signed up immediately, looking for a new adventure. There was only so many off-world trips with geological teams that he could handle before he was after a new scene. He'd been passed over originally, as many other people had been, due to the need for smaller expedition in case it failed.

Then he met her, and discovered an adventure of a different sort, but one that was equally challenging and interesting. They hit it off right away, and though he never considered himself a romantic, he found that he liked it. There was just something about living a normal life, outside of all the craziness that the SGC threw at him on a daily basis, that appealed to him. It wasn't that he didn't love his job - because he did. He'd just found something else that he hadn't ever expected to find: the perfect companion.

He'd almost forgotten about his request to join the Atlantis mission when the offer came up to travel there on the _Daedalus_ with the new support crew for the original expedition team. He'd said yes before it set in exactly what it meant.

Rachel blew out a sigh. "Okay. No big deal. This can work." She stood up, slipping her hand out of his grasp and walking around the coffee table, and then back again. She continued pacing around the living room until he stood up, turning her around to face him. "I feel terrible," she told him, face crumpling. She wasn't crying, but she was upset. "I don't want you to go. I know it's selfish, and I know I said I could handle it, but I don't know if I can."

Pulling her to his chest, he felt her arms wrap around his body. "That's not selfish," he told her in a whisper. His hands traced circles on her back. "It was something I volunteered for, before I met you. Something I wanted more than anything else." A lifetime ago, almost. "It's... the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Oh, God, now I feel worse," she mumbled into his shirt.

If she hadn't been truly upset, he might have laughed to ease the tension in the room.

"Don't be." He lifted her head up, looking her in the eyes. The absolute look of distress in them made him feel like he'd kicked a puppy. He would have liked nothing better than to take back his words, joke it off. But that still wouldn't have been fair.

"Hey. If you don't want me to leave..." He hesitated, the weight of his words settling in his gut. "It's a voluntary assignment," he told her, cradling her face with his hands. "Just say the word, and I won't leave you."

She pulled her hands from back, bringing them up to cover her face. "Don't say that," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Rachel, I mean it." He moved his hands to cover her own, before pulling her back over to the couch. He wrapped his arms around her tight, as if worried she was going to run away. "I asked for this assignment before all this, okay. And if you want me to choose, I'll choose you." She started to shake her head again, and he stopped her. "I'll choose you, because I love you, and you made me realise that there's something more to life that I was missing out on."

Her breath hitched, and she turned her head to kiss the palm of his hand. Her voice was shaky when she spoke, but resolute. "I'm not going to ask you to choose. I don't want you to go, but this is your job we're talking about. And like you said, it's something you wanted to do. It's not my place to make you choose."

How they'd ended up on this topic, right when she'd been about to drag him off to bed, both stunned and amused her, despite her distress. She'd been clinging to the illusion that he would never had to leave, and that she'd never have to worry. She wouldn't admit that she did worry each time he came home on a weekend with a new bruise, or cut. He didn't offer an explanation, and she didn't ask. She'd wanted security, and if they didn't speak about it, she didn't have to admit that the security was flawed.

His words were barely above a whisper when he spoke. "Will you wait?"

How easy it would have been to hesitate. She wondered briefly whether her instant nod would be taken an indication of a foolish hope and desire, or something that ran deeper.

For Evan, as clichéd and corny as it sounded, she would wait forever.

He pulled her close and kissed her lips. She could taste her own tears, and the wine on his breath, and she let herself get lost in him. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was reassurance, and their tangled limbs found a comfortable resting position as she clung tightly to him.

A week until he had to leave. One week.

If that was what they had then she fully intended to give him a reason to come back.


End file.
